7:09 am - Wednesday, November 22 2017
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New Mommy

It is official. I am a new Mommy. I didn’t really want to become a new Mommy, but it was a change that had to be made.

I am now a Working Mom.

My first day back at work went well. Cameron and Mommy both got through the day with minimal tears. I kept my cool while dropping off a crying baby at daycare. I walked into work with my head held high. I genuinely smiled and chatted with co-workers. I got work done. But as the day progressed I felt anxiety increasing in my belly. I needed to know that my baby was okay. I needed to be with him. I needed to wrap my arms around him and kiss his little tummy and hear that precious giggle.

So, I called the daycare and I got on with my day. I held my head high. I genuinely smiled and chatted with co-workers. I got work done. I was surprised at how fine I was.

When I finally got home, I reached out and grabbed my son. It was amazing to hold him. I had an hour and a half before his bed and I tried to make the most of my time with him.

But I was surprised at how I felt. I was right there with Cameron, hugging him and making him laugh, yet I missed him so much! I missed the full days I was used to spending with him. I missed snuggling with him before a nap. I missed playing with him and I missed comforting the tears. I was grieving our lost day.

And then, I started to feel worse.

After getting Cameron off to bed, I looked around the house. My apartment that I have been trying so hard to keep clean(ish) and livable looked like a tornado had struck. The dishwasher needed to be unloaded. Dirty dishes covered every surface of the kitchen. The kitchen table was overflowing with clutter. The living room was a minefield of toys.

I used to be able to keep it relatively clean… but that was when I was at home all day.

And now, I am overwhelmed! I have no idea how I am going to be able to manage my time. I only finished one day of work, and I’m already feeling like a failure as a mother and a wife.

It is a process. I know it is a process. And I’ll keep at it and I’ll try to remain strong and positive. I’ll try to keep my cool and I’ll try to hold my head up. I will try to smile genuine smiles. And I’ll try not to get too overwhelmed.

But this is tough.

—–

After all of this has been said, I wanted to say thank you! There have been a lot of new blog readers lately and a lot of awesome bloggers featuring me. Seriously, I am so humbled! And it is all happening at the one time that I have no extra time for networking. I want to reply to every comment and I want to personally thank every blogger and tweep who has featured me. But I am right now trying to figure out how to juggle everything on my plate. Just know that I appreciate every little bit of bloggy love you give! Thank you thank you thank you!

Please bear with me as I am figuring out how to not be so overwhelmed with life. The number of blog posts might decrease slightly but stick with me. My readers are so awesome and I am so grateful for each one of you.

Thank you for all of your kind words and support. They are helping me through this transition to become a new type of Mommy.

This is what a Blogging Mommy looks like
Photo taken a few days before Cameron’s first birthday.
Laura (@LauraORourke) is a photographer who lives in Halifax, Nova Scotia. A wife to Dan and a mother to Cameron, she spends her free time blogging and reading. Her blog finds its home at http://miraclesofamily.blogspot.com. Her photography can be found at http://www.olalaphotography.com.

About Laura O'Rourke

I’m Laura. Wife to Dan. Mama to Cameron and Gavin. Blogger. Photographer. I’ve been declared “baby crazy” by my husband. I’ve been blogging since 2003 when I was a teenager. My first blog post ever begged forgiveness for all the future blog posts that would follow. Consider that still in effect. I met my husband through blogging, I planned a wedding while blogging, and we tweeted the births of both of our sons. Consider this my memoir, my legacy, my letter to my children and my hand reaching out to other Moms. I love being a wife. I love being a Mom. I love blogging. And I can’t wait to meet you.

 

The views and opinions expressed in this content are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of haligonia.ca.

http://www.mommy-miracles.com

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