L-A: As you may well know, I’ve been immune to the charm of the TOMS. I still don’t quite get the charms of your average TOM (is that the singular of TOMS? Or is the plural TOMS’? TOMSES?).

I know. They’re comfortable. Soooooo comfortable. And they do awesome things for kids in developing countries, which kind of makes me a jerk for not wanting a pair.  I almost did give in and give them a whirl, but they didn’t have my size in anything that wasn’t a glitter shoe. And quite frankly, if I’m going to do a glitter shoe, it’s got to be a sight fancier than that.

THIS is how you do a glitter shoe.

They almost wooed me with their wedges, but the lack of my size was the same reason I didn’t end up with a pair of these.

I know. I really should own a pair of these already.

But then this shows up in my inbox.

And now I give in. You win TOMS! I want a pair of you! You’re actually cute. And I bet you really are soooo comfortable and I’ll never want to take you off. And I’ll probably want you to come to Coachella with me. And you’ll probably be all smug about it and because even though you do good things for little kids, the fact that you write your name in all caps makes me think you might be a smug pair of shoes. Now who in town is selling TOMS ballet flats, because they’re available today and I want a pair for my feet, like,  yesterday. Even if they’d be awful to wear on cold, salty streets (not that it stops folks on my bus from wearing wee sneakers and flats in this weather. Not I, friends. Save your shoes, wear boots on these salty sidewalks!).

Ally: I have the most gorgeous pair of Tom Wedges. Purchased at Biscuit last year.

Perhaps something even an 80s Groupie would wear? Mmmhmmmmmmkay?

Source

Problem? I need to accept the fact that my feet are not made for wedges. The blisters on my toes…holy eff…the blisters on my toes. Doesn’t matter what type of wedge, I still get my toes scrunched up in a very unsexy way causing horrifying blisters. (Editors note: Do not Google “Wedges bad toes” first thing in the morning. Hashtag barfzilla).

I too will be purchasing the TOMS ballet flats. Now to ask Biscuit if they will be carrying those this season! In the meantime, the above TOMS wedges that I own may be a giveaway at our annual birthday fiasco. I’ve worn them once. Sniff.