It’s the first blog post of the New Year and one of my resolutions for 2011 is to get back to blogging.
Actually. That’s a lie. I haven’t specifically resolved to blog more.
In fact, I hate resolutions. To me, it makes more sense – if I want to change something in my life – to just do it. Now. Why wait until January 1st? Or next week? Or Monday? Or “this is my last drink”. Or coffee. Or cigarette. Or whatever.
However.
I have decided to make a change. I’m not sure why January 2011 is all of a sudden auspicious. Perhaps I found 2010 a bit overwhelming and I want to shake it off and start clean. Perhaps I was just lazy over Christmas. Perhaps, like the millions of other people who make resolutions for the New Year, I just needed a starting point: a definite marker to say, “On this day I changed that.”
Perhaps.
If only to measure how long it lasts.
Nevertheless.
My resolution? Such as it is?
Actually, it’s my new mantra:
One at a time.
One thing, one job, one person, one activity, one place, one time, one now.
Some of you will understand what I mean: the feeling of tail-chasing; of never being finished; of never being satisfied; of one eye on the future; of a palpable ennui even in the midst of endless swirling activity. Dizzying.
I want to slow down the roller coaster.
‘One at a time’ is kind of like ‘living in the moment’, but it’s less esoteric. More practical.
Yes, I think 2010 nearly killed me. Too much stuff.
Ok, 2011 will still be full but I want it to feel different. Although I love everything I do, I know that when I am doing whatever it is – be it practicing music, planning a production, teaching, writing a finding application, having drinks with friends, or even writing this blog post – my mind is on something else. What’s next? What else do I have to do? And what’s after that?
And at a certain level I can accept that this is how I am: attracted to shiny things, a need for a variety of stimuli. Heck, I’m pretty sure I’ve written on topic before.
But man, I’m pooped. Physically, mentally and soulfully.
So.
Starting with a bit of yoga this morning I resolve to try to do things one at a time.
After all:
There is only one me.
