I have shared with you already about the anxiety and apprehension that I had felt in the beginning of my pregnancy, not only with the unknowns of being a first time Mom and motherhood in general, and let’s face it, the “process” of giving birth, but of the inevitable process of pregnancy that is the dreaded weight gain.
Not only was the mere “idea” of gaining back pounds on my already overweight body a devastating concept after having lost so much, the fear was compounded in the beginning because it was happening before my very eyes as the pounds were starting to pile on at a frightening rapid speed. 10 pounds seemed to happen over night. My theory about that initial gain still remains that my long term weight loss efforts, coupled with my inability to perform “sweat inducing” meaningful exercise during most of the weight loss due to injuries I sustained in a car accident, is the main underlying cause. Excuse? Maybe some, because I by all means I do not claim that I was even close to making stellar choices during that first trimester. But regardless of that, I think it is a very solid underlying explanation.
So here I am now at 18 weeks! Nearing the half way point! I am now up a total of 17 lbs. Previous logic would predict that this would cause some sort of stroke in my mind, especially since I am only 8 lbs away from my “recommended” weight gain through the entire pregnancy. Scary? Maybe, but not near the degree that I once thought it would.
I can honestly say that while I do have my moments of anxiety and panic over this (especially seeing myself in picture form!), I see my belly filling out to be less “muffin top” and more “baby bump!” No wait, “basketball bump!” How could I possibly be upset when I see what’s really going on in there? I have been doing well becoming adjusted to my new daily calorie range (no I don’t count) and I have been making good nutritional choices and doing so many things right and my fears of becoming 300 lbs again just simply isn’t making sense.
I am at peace with pregnancy weight gain.
It occurred to me that it just simply isn’t possible for me to reach 300 lbs EVER.AGAIN. Even if I come out on the other side of this pregnancy say, 30 lbs above my pregnancy start weight, then I’ll deal with it and do what it takes to get my body back.
It’s easy to feel those negative and fearful feelings when you’re feeling so miserable and emotional and especially when it hits right on the button that can affect you the most, but now that I’m no longer there, I feel nothing but happiness, excitement and love for my baby and my family. It get choked up thinking about what it’s going to be like being a Mom to this little miracle in there. Cliché? Yes, but clichés exist for a very good reason 😉
18 Weeks, + 17 lbs and the luckiest girl on the planet: