Survivor: Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving, American readers! Here is Canada we celebrate Thanksgiving back in October (craziness, right?) but in honor of your holiday (actually a significant portion of my immediate family are either American or Pseudo-American) I ate a holiday wrap last night. What is a holiday wrap, you ask? Well it’s only happiness wrapped up in pita bread, available in November and December only at my neighborhood diner.  Turkey, lettuce, mayo, stuffing and cranberry sauce…I try to eat at least one a week while they’re available. So, cheers!

Of course, Thanksgiving also means not all my favorite shows are on. Last night’s episode of Survivor was a clips show, so there isn’t much to say. While I tremendously prefer these to the recap-style episodes they used to do, this clips show wasn’t as funny as I’d hoped. Maybe the cast just isn’t that entertaining, who knows? But I’ll bullet point a few of the things I did find interesting, and feel free to point out anything that you liked.  

  • Keith and Whitney, sittin’ in a tree, I-N-F-I-D-E-L-I-T-Y. Too mean? When the news came out that Whitney was actually secretly married before going on Survivor and then left that dude for Keith, I wondered why the producers never opted to show us more of that relationship. Well, we saw it last night as the lovebirds hilariously fooled themselves into thinking that the other players were oblivious to their special “alliance” and Cochran spent a night with them in their private mini-shelter, subsequently wondering if we’d all see the product of those sleeping arrangements nine months later. I just can’t believe a showmance happened on the Savaii tribe and Ozzy wasn’t a part of it!
  • Papa Bear giving Cochran advice on how to pick up women in bars? Classic. He told him to compliment their earrings. Oh Papa Bear, that’s how girls meet their Gay BFFs in bars, not their boyfriends.
  • The episode offered up more proof that Coach is playing a far better game than he ever did before. How to deal with Brandon after he once again flies off the handle at Tribal Council? Pray with him! “Lord I have so much faith that you are smiling down on us right now, Father. So I ask for a spirit of peace for Brandon. Give him unbelievable self-control when it comes to his tongue,” Coach said. You know, I think I’m going to try that. Next time I’m annoyed someone I’m going to ask them to hold hands with me so I can pray “Dear God, please help so-and-so learn that there is never a reason to talk when the TV is on. Thank you, amen, cheers.”
  • The episode also offered proof that sometimes Coach is still a jackass. Mikayla told him that she was feeling sick from eating all that pork the night before – you know, that nasty stuff they won in the challenge. Then Coach noticed that Mikayla took extra scoops of sugar in her coffee. The nerve! So what do you do? Obviously, you cook up some leftover pork fat, eat it, and pretend to vomit it back up to make the poor girl get sick all over again. Classy move, Dragon Slayer.
  • Who else thought it was funny to see Coach launch into a major rant about how poorly Savaii’s shelter had been put together? Since Ozzy was the returning player, he put all the blame there. “Ozzy, no wonder you’ve never won Survivor. No wonder you always get blindsided. Because you’re a frickin idiot…Survivor is not sleeping in the sand, getting bit up by mosquitoes and all other kinds of bugs. Just because you’re a beach bum and you’ve been doing that your whole life doesn’t mean you subject your tribe to the same kind of punishment.” Ha!


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