Let’s talk about Brenda’s stay in Ponderosa first. I actually didn’t mind Brenda, but she was a very cocky player. So it was pretty funny to see the vast difference in the opinions of Marty and Alina after Brenda was voted out. Marty was shocked, said he would have voted for her in the end and that buffoons are running the show now. Alina was thrilled that someone had finally dethroned the princess, but wasn’t looking forward to hanging out with her. Check out the video, it’s pretty awesome.

In the second video Brenda and Marty talk on and on about how great their strategy was and how everyone left in the game is an idiot, and Alina looks as though she might rip her hair out. Her Ponderosa commentary is so funny, it makes me wish she’d been in the game longer. Plus, we learn that the remaining players are having a Tribal Council the very next night after they voted out Brenda. That makes me excited for next week’s episode! Here’s the video if you’re interested:

OK, now let’s talk about the “recap” episode, or the clips show. One of the best moves Survivor ever made was to switch from giving us a boring review episode to giving us a livelier secret scenes episode. It’s obviously not as good as a real show, but if you have to skip a week this is certainly miles better than what we used to get.

 You had to laugh at the old folks’ discussion of spooning arrangements. And you definitely had to laugh at the fact that their shelter collapsed the first night. But at least they built one! I can’t believe NaOnka was the one to complain that the younger tribe just wanted to have fun. She is a woman with many sides. Most of them scare me.

 I’m totally rooting for Fabio. His secret scenes confirmed that his entire strategy is to lay low and make sure no one views him as a threat, and so far it has worked. Plus the montage of his various accidents was freakin’ hilarious. 

 Holly’s theory that the city folk would be merged into one tribe with the country folk on the other was so wacky only she could have thought it up. Even Jimmy T. looked like he thought she was crazy! She admitted that strategy isn’t really her thing, which is why I don’t want her to win. Starting to play in the last week of the game does not make you a deserving winner.

 I hate the guy for calling Alina a “dirt squirrel”, but that was just downright funny. The only screen time Kelly has gotten is when she’s crying. Therefore I believe that Kelly is always crying. We saw a clip of her early on saying “It’s killing me, I just want to quit”, and NaOnka of all people offered to be “her rock”. Pot? Kettle? Yeah. 

Dan’s hair rivaled Marty’s for the Worst ‘Do Award! Why didn’t we know about this earlier? Also, the information that Jane sat in a super hot sauna to prepare for Survivor was pretty funny. I still don’t like her much, but you’ve got to respect the amount of preparation she put into coming on the show. I can’t stand the go, but I’d take her over a recruited, noncommittal player who’s never even seen the show any day of the week.

 Pot? Kettle? Yeah. After stealing all the food from camp, NaOnka received motherly advice from Holly of all people. Oh god, I hope she told her the alligator shoes story when she explained why it’s best to own up to your mistakes. Guess what, guys? A mistake is when you burn the tortillas, not steal them. A mistake is when you accidentally drop boiling water on shoes, not fill them with sand and drown them. Neither of those women made mistakes, they made incredibly poor decisions. Also? Pretty hilarious that after Na owned up to burying the flour, it took her forever to remember where she buried it.

 Oh. My. God. Purple Kelly speaks her third ever sentence on Survivor, and once again it includes crying and whining. How did this girl get on this show??? Apparently next week’s episode is pretty intense though, so I’m excited!