Survivor: “You wanna go? Go.”

Pathetic.
That’s the only way to describe someone who quits Survivor on Day 28. Day 28! Both NaOnka and Kelly had a one in nine shot of winning, if you choose not to factor in the fact that they were both horrible players. And they both had very good odds at going to the finals, since plenty of people would be dying to sit next to them. 
So much about last night’s episode angers me. First of all, the whole “take the afternoon to think about this” thing? Yeah. Not happy. If two people announce they’re quitting, LET THEM QUIT. I get that the show producers don’t want to see someone (let alone two people) quit the show, but once they’ve announced “this will be my last day” to Jeff Probst as though they’re resigning from a job at the local corner store, I say get them outta there. Because if one of those girls had changed her mind, stayed, and made it to the finals – or worse, won – I’d be mad. 
Second of all, I’m angry that NaOnka and Kelly’s pathetic attitudes and decisions dominated the entire episode. That’s all this episode was – would they quit or not? Although it had been two weeks since we’d seen the show, this entire episode took place in the span of about 24 hours. Brenda was voted out, there was a reward challenge the next day, NaOnka and Kelly announced they were done, and then they made it final at an emergency Tribal Council that night. There was no immunity challenge, no vote, and no actual strategy. 
Third thing that makes me angry? The fact that these two despicable losers (and yeah, that’s what I think they are right now) get to be on the jury. How is that fair? The jury gets to give a million bucks to someone. That’s a pretty big honor. It’s supposed to be a jury of peers. It’s supposed to be a jury of people the finalists have wronged by voting them out. That’s a hugely important aspect of this game that is the whole reason having a “social game” is important. You have to get to the end, and you have to do it without losing votes. It’s why Russell Hantz could never win; he couldn’t wrap his mind around the fact that the people he voted out had to give him their vote at the end. So if two people quit, do they really deserve to help make that final decision? No. No they don’t. Because the finalists didn’t cross them, get the better of them, or piss them off.
OK. I’ll try and calm down so I can write about the rest of the show. 
The reward challenge was cool, but it was essentially a trailer for Gulliver’s Travels. Two teams had to carry a heavy 8-foot dummy through an obstacle course, where Dan was waiting for him. Surprise! No one chose him in the schoolyard pick, so he got to choose a team to support. He also got to sit in a giant chair that made him look Lilliputian. As if he couldn’t have been any less physically imposing. Dan chose the right team – Holly, NaOnka, Benry and Chase – who won the intense back-and-forth race. And that’s when NaOnka made her little announcement – she was done, and she was unjustifiably proud of it. We knew it was coming – she’d already passed on her immunity idol to Chase, of all people – and when Probst said “Anyone else wanna quit” we saw Purple Kelly’s answer coming as well. 
But NaOnka wasn’t finished with her campaign for Worst Person Ever, which she has been working hard at since day one. Jeff told the winning members (Dan excluded) that any one of them could give up going on the reward (a viewing of Gulliver’s Travels and a bunch of movie snacks like popcorn, nachos, hotdogs and candy) in order to bring back a new tarp and container of rice for the whole tribe. Everyone waited for NaOnka to pony up and take one for the team since she’d have plenty of food in Ponderosa, but the moment never came. NaOnka could not even fathom the idea of making a sacrifice for the others. Instead, Holly took Probst’s offer. 
As much as I think NaOnka definitely should have taken the hit for everyone, I think it was also a good move for Holly. I still don’t like her (for me there’s no moving past almost quitting the game and then drowning someone’s shoes) but she’s starting to become a clear choice for the winner, and this selfless act will definitely win some brownie points with the jury.
At the reward everyone gorged themselves on popcorn and “frankfurters” (oh Dan, what a New Yorker) and provided forced-sounding laughs and soundbites about how funny Jack Black and all his movies are. Apparently Gulliver’s Travels is about finding strength within yourself, but the message did not sway NaOnka’s decision. Back at the camp Holly tried to repeat Jimmy Johnson’s pep talk for Kelly, but it was pretty obvious her decision had already been made as well.
I was glad it was raining during Tribal Council, because I really, really wanted both NaOnka and Kelly to quit. I didn’t think they deserved the chance to change their minds. They both quit, and the only interesting thing was the reactions of the jury members. Alina was crying. Marty was furious. Brenda looked both angry and humored. I bet it’s going to be an awkward few days in Ponderosa. NaOnka and Kelly both got their torches snuffed (or smurfed, or whatever NaOnka said) which seemed unfair. Is that how they’ve always done it? They should have thrown the torches in the fire, or better yet hit the girls in the head with them.
What really annoyed me was the girls’ attitudes toward the whole thing. NaOnka. It does not matter that you are the only African American woman left. In fact, considering the strongest alliance around for a while was actually christened a “minority alliance” by the people in it, I really don’t think you have anything to brag about. And stop saying how proud you are that you made it 28 days! No one goes 28 days without smoking and then lights one up and says “I’m super proud of myself”. Well maybe they do, but I mock and judge those people! And how on god’s green earth did NaOnka think she had a real shot at winning this? Who did she think was going to vote for her? Why is she so delusional? And don’t even get me started on the fact that she felt no need to apologize to the other jury members who’d been voted out practically kicking and screaming while she just couldn’t be bothered to be cold anymore. (I loved the look on Dan’s face when NaOnka complained that her joints hurt.)
All in all, it was a pathetic and angering episode. I stand by my belief that they should not be allowed on the jury. And I’ll leave you with one final thought – I’d be very interested to know if NaOnka and Kelly were recruits or people who actually applied to be on the show. In the past two weeks we’ve seen two fans of the show – Brenda and Marty – get voted out. They were also two of the best strategists in the game. People who know Survivor make better Survivor players, and while I’m sure there are exceptions I’ll never believe that recruits will have the same drive as applicants. That makes them less compelling players and, in this case, I think it might make them more likely to quit. Thoughts?


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