I used to love the Grammys. The fashions were quirkier, the musical performances were stellar, and I actually gave a crap about who won. But things have changed. The red carpet has become a circus, where people just try to look as crazy as possible (some even go to lengths like showing up inside an egg!) and most of the awards are given out before the show takes place.
The performances, I still enjoy. Sure, the fact that most of the people I follow on Twitter like to slam pop music just because it’s not what they like to listen to, but I can get over that. I like pop music, and I don’t think that’s anything to be ashamed about.
So instead of talking about the Grammy Awards fashions (because, frankly, there’s little to say) I’m just going to grade the performances.
Aretha Franklin Tribute – Yolanda Adams, Martina McBride, Christina Aguilera, Jennifer Hudson and Florence Welch
I liked this performance, although I question the choice to have it open the show. In particular, I thought Yolanda Adams, Christina Aguilera and Jennifer Hudson really shone. They have the kind of voices that can do Aretha’s songs justice, and no one forgot the words. (I joke, I joke – I’m actually one of the few people who didn’t view Aguilera’s Superbowl screw-up as a career-ending, capital punishment worthy error.) I don’t think Florence Welch quite fit in with this crowd, though. I like Florence And The Machine, but her voice isn’t really suited to Aretha’s music.
Grade: A-
Born This Way – Lady Gaga
Lady Gaga has put herself in the awkward position of having to continually top herself. How can she be crazier, riskier, better, more creative than the year before? This need seeps into everything from her wardrobe (fashioned from a used condom, I believe) to her arrival (an egg, which means along with her previous meat dress, she’ll probably show up to the next show dressed as pancakes) to her music (a rip-off of Madonna’s “Express Yourself”? Who cares, I’ve been dancing to Gaga’s new single since it came out.)
Gaga’s performance of “Born This Way” wasn’t as shocking as her fiery duet with Elton John last year, but it showed off the song and was still incredibly weird. What’s with all the Star Trek bumps?
Grade: A
The House That Built Me – Miranda Lambert
Miranda Lambert was a shoe-in for Best female Country Performance, but this song left me feeling cold. I’m not a big country fan, but I’d argue any day that Carrie Underwood’s “Temporary Home” is both better written and better sung.
Grade: C
Uprising – Muse
I don’t know much about Muse, so it’s hard for me to grade this performance. They were, you know, good. The song is good. The performance was an elaborate production, and I liked it. But it was a tad emo and smacked of taking oneself too seriously, which is not really my cup of tea.
Grade: B (Just because, like I said, it’s not really my thing)
Beautiful Girls/Grenade/Cold War – B.o.B., Bruno Mars, Janelle Monae
This was probably my favorite performance of the night. I’m a fan of all three artists – especially Bruno Mars, who I’ve loved since the first time I heard his vocals on “Billionaire” – and the retro feel of the medley was fantastic. I especially loved what Mars did to “Grenade”. That song was everywhere, so hearing a new version really kept the performance from feeling stale. Plus, B.o.B had a monocle and Janelle Monae is just too damn cute. What’s not to love?
Grade: A+
Baby/Never Say Never/OMG – Justin Bieber, one of those Smith kids, Usher
This performance had the distinct disadvantage of me not liking any of these people. I have never, and will never, understand the appeal of Justin Bieber. I have been a fan and defender of a lot of teen pop stars, but I just don’t think this kid is particularly good. As for Usher, I’ve never been a fan and his blue suede suit did not help me make the leap. And the frequent cuts to Will and Jada Smith glowing with pride just made me feel like I’d accidentally crashed a really obnoxious school play.
Grade: D
The Cave/Head Full of Doubt, Road Full of Promise/Maggie’s Farm – Mumford & Sons, Avett Brothers, Bob Dylan
Let me start this by saying I liked this performance. It was great. But for reals? For a second there I thought a drunk hobo had wandered out on stage. When was the last time Bob Dylan showered? OK, that’s my only criticism. Don’t send me hate mail.
Grade: A
If You Don’t Know Me By Now/American Honey/Need You Now – Lady Antebellum
These guys can all sing, and like everyone else I had “Need You Now” stuck in my head and their win for Song of the Year was deserved, but this performance was a little dull. So dull, I have nothing else to say about it.
Grade: C+
Forget You – Cee-Lo Green, Muppets, Gwyneth Paltrow
Things I liked about this performance:
- The set
- The fact that Cee-Lo was dressed like an Elton John on The Muppets mash-up of Elmo and the NBC peacock
- The pug muppet (I have an obsession with pugs)
- The song, which I will never tire of
That said,with all of that was a guest appearance by Gwyneth Paltrow really necessary? It took the performance from totally weird and colorful to…well, I’m not really sure what. But I loved Gwynnie on Glee and I give her major respect for changing into that boring black leotard when she arrived in the same outfit as Cee-Lo himself. How embarrassing!
Grade: A
Not Like The Movies/Teenage Dream – Katy Perry
Yeah, live singing isn’t really Katy’s strong suit. But I don’t think people should write her off either. The girl knows how to write a great pop song, I dig her over-the-top bubblegum campiness, and she’s smokin’ hot to boot. Her performances may not always be flawless, but they’re memorable. The footage of her wedding to Russell Brand fit in perfectly with the sweet, mellow “Not Like The Movies” and it was fun seeing Nicole Kidman sing along to “Teenage Dream”.
Grade: C
Jolene – John Mayer, Norah Jones, Keith Urban
Funny how this performance ended up being one of my favorites all night. I’d forgotten that John Mayer was actually really, really talented, and not just a douche. I’d forgotten that Keith Urban was anything other than Nicole Kidman’s petite arm candy. I’d forgotten Norah Jones existed. But this performance was just a classic display of a fantastic, timeless song and raw, natural talent.
Grade: A+
Love The Way You Lie/I Need A Doctor – Rihanna, Eminem, Skylar Grey, Dr. Dre
This performance had a lot of hype, but it didn’t disappoint. I don’t know much about rap, but I’d say Eminem outshone Dre. What do you think?
Grade: B+
Everybody Needs Somebody To Love – Mick Jagger
As a big Rolling Stones fan, I’m automatically inclined to love this performance. It certainly wasn’t the best I’ve seen him, but the guy can do no wrong.
Grade: A-
Evergreen – Barbra Streisand
I’m sure Barbra fans will feel the same way about this performance as I felt about Jagger’s. If you’re a fan, you probably loved it. Personally? I felt pretty indifferent.
Grade: B
What’s My Name – Rihanna and Drake
This performance was probably the sexiest of the evening, and it was hard to believe it was the first time this duo had performed the song together.
Grade: A-
Month of May – Arcade Fire
Since I’m Canadian, and they’re Canadian, I’m thrilled the band won for Album of the Year. But truth be told, I’m not super-familiar with a lot of their music. (Hopefully I’ll rectify that by this summer when they open for U2.) The performance was strong, though, and was a welcome burst of rock energy for the show.
Grade: A-
Did you watch the awards? Who gave your favorite performance? Did any of your favorites win?
