The Golden Globes: Red Carpet Review

This was a big year for me. You know why? I finally got the E! channel here in Canada. And guess what? It’s good for more than just Kardashian marathons! It means I can finally watch live red carpet footage that doesn’t include Canadian “treasure” (I’m being ironic) Ben Mulroney.

Overall, I think the red carpet looks for last night’s Golden Globes were good. There were more hits than misses. (Check out my separate “Best and Worst” post.) I do have one complaint, though – not enough color! Too many women were wearing gowns in nude, blush, or another variation of bland. Luckily, the other trend of the night was a gorgeous emerald green, and they along with a few other celebs who showed up in beautifully hued gowns saved the night.

Let’s look at all the different non-color gowns first. (Tip: Click on the photo to see a larger version of the collage) Some got it right:

Clockwise: Dianna Agron, Sandra Bullock, Sarah Hyland, Scarlett Johansson

I have said it before and I’ll say it again: Dianna Agron is quite possibly the most beautiful human being on earth. The dress was a little plain, but it fit her perfectly and with her classically styled hair and impeccable makeup she looked breathtaking. Not everyone loved Sandra Bullock‘s dress, but I thought it was fantastic. My problem was with her hair. That gown would have looked better with a classic updo, and those bangs do nothing for her. Same goes for Modern Family’s Sarah Hyland. She’s a gorgeous young actress and that gown and necklace looked beautiful, but I just want to push that hair out of her face. Because I’m 40 years old and her mom. Scarlett Johansson also suffered from a case of Bad Hair, but I thought the dress was stunning. If she’d been the only beauty at the ball wearing blush she would have skyrocketed to the top of my Best list.

Then there were the sparkle sisters:

Clockwise: Amber Riley, Anne Hathaway, Carrie Underwood, Heather Morris

Take, for example, Carrie Underwood. She looks fine, but YAWN. Not only did we see that dress a million times last night, we’ve seen that dress on her a million times. Carrie Underwood is gorgeous. And she always looks good, but she usually looks the same. So Carrie, please give us less of this:

And more of this:

Thank you. As for the other sparkling celebs, I thought Amber Riley and Heather Morris of Glee both looked great, especially my beloved Heather. I’m still a little undecided on Anne Hathaway. Last night I hated it and scoffed that she’d borrowed her gown from the wardrobe of Dynasty. Then I saw it this morning and though “No, it’s different and cool”. Now I’m leaning towards bad again. The puffed sleeves with all the sequins are just too much.

The non-colored gowns didn’t end there, though. We had these five ladies:

Clockwise: Nicole Kidman and Cowboy, Jennifer Lopez, Helen Mirran, Milla Jovovich, Naya Rivera

None of these women really got it right, except for Nicole Kidman. She looked statuesque and elegant and her face is finally going back to normal. Jennfier Lopez didn’t look bad, but the look seemed very dated. I usually love what Helen Mirren wears, but the necklane on this gown looked a little too slouchy for me, and I hated the color and fishtail bottom on Milla Jovovich‘s gown. Naya Rivera always seems to be the worst dressed Glee cast member. This gown seemed a little trampy and I don’t think the color flattered her.

However, these ladies did non-colors even worse:

Clockwise: Christina Aguilera, Tilda Swinton, Julie Bowen, Leighton Meester, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Kaley Cuocu

Ouch. OK. Christina Aguilera? Just because you play a stripper in a movie doesn’t mean you need to attend the awards show dressed as one. Tilda Swinton always confuses me, but this was really weird and ill-fitting, especially in profile. She could have at least thrown on a belt. Julie Bowen looked like she created her gown out of some old dishrags. The color was dismal and it looked like it had been caught in a lawnmower. And is Leighton Meester auditioning to play Laura Ingalls Wilder? What was with the prarie girl look? Don’t even get me started on Jennifer Love Hewitt. What is that? I won’t be mean to Kaley Cuocu because she’s so adorable. I’ll just say that the gown and her skin were too similarly hued and it was really unflattering.

For one awards show, those were WAY too many gowns in bland, non-colors. Speaking of which, let’s discuss the black gowns.

I’ve never been a fan of black gowns. I know, I know, it’s a classic look. But it bores me. Here are some celebrities who got it right:

Clockwise: Jane Lynch (and her wife), Julianne Hough, Piper Perabo, Olivia Wilde

Jane Lynch always looks elegant and has donned some beautiful colors in the past, and I thought she really worked her black gown. But one gown that I loved that didn’t get much buss was Julianne Hough‘s. I loved the contrast of the sleek black gown with the ornate neckline, and I’m glad her stylist had the good sense to put her hair in a simple updo. Divine. Piper Perabo‘s dress was the perfect mix of serious and girly – black, but with cool bows, and her red lipstick was the perfect touch. The standout star of the night, though, was Olivia Wilde. The woman is stunning and she really knocked it out of the park in her beautiful sequined gown. I don’t usually like giant princess dresses, but this one was gorgeous and since Olivia usually goes for sleek gowns it was nice to see her mix it up.

These women also wore black:

Jane Fonda, Eva Longoria, Jayma Mays

Of these three women, I liked Jane Fonda‘s gown the best. It was classic and age-appropriate. Eva Longoria looked nice, but yawn. Haven’t we seen her in this before? It’s too boring to even bother Googling, so I’m going to go with yes. I usually love how Jayma Mays looks, but this black gown just didn’t do it for me – and I don’t think it flattered her very, very thin frame.

But, at least they weren’t wearing these black gowns:

Clockwise: Jennifer Lawrence, Julia Stiles, Halle Berry, Annette Bening

Oh. My. God. A lot of people liked Jennifer Lawrence‘s gown, but I thought it looked as though it was made of tangled up cassette tapes and shredded garbage bags. Julia Stiles got her hair and makeup right, but that dress did her no favors. But they were nothing compared to Halle Berry, who apparently thought it would be fun to show up to the Golden Globes in lingerie. But hey, at least she remembered to comb her hair, right? What was Annette Bening thinking? I might have been able to forgive her for the drab dress if she didn’t look like she’d just gotten out of bed from the neck up. What the hell?

Now that we have those gowns out of the way, let’s talk about the lovely people who chose colorful gowns, for better or for worse. There were the reds:

Christina Hendricks, January Jones, Sofia Vergara

I commend these ladies for wearing a bold, beautiful color, but they did it with varying degrees of unpleasantness. I liked Sofia Vergara‘s gown from the front, but the jury is still out for me on the back of the dress – it was too complicated. I think I could have liked Christina Hendricks‘s gown if she’d put her hair up. But the large red ruffles at the neckline just looked stupid next to her wavy red hair. And then there’s January Jones. I’d like to take some of the hate that people channel towards Lea Michele and dump it onto January Jones. WHY does she ALWAYS have to look so STUPID??? She is so beautiful. But she tries so hard. It’s OK, January. We know you’re not Betty Draper. Stop trying to be so edgy, mysterious and sexy.

Pink was another popular color:

Clockwise: Megan Fox, Lea Michele, Natalie Portman, Claire Danes

All of these ladies did pink justice. I hate almost everything about Megan Fox, but damn, she looked amazing. And yeah, Lea Michele seems like a diva. But that diva attitude sure does help her carry off some glamorous gowns. Natalie Portman looked stunning in her gown, and I loved the contrast Claire Danes‘ hot pink, yet simple gown.

However, there was one horrendous pink gown:

Julianne Moore

Oh Julianne Moore. I’ve always liked you, but I just don’t think I can forgive you for this. You better bring it at the Oscars.

There were quite a few women rocking the blues too:

Clockwise: Amy Adams, Jane Krakowski, Jenna Ushukowitz, Tina Fey, Melissa Leo, Mandy Moore

I’ll rank these ladies from Best in Blue to Givin’ Me The Blues:
1. Melissa Leo: Navy sparkles? Yes please.
2. Jane Krakowski: Pregnancy is agreeing with her – I don’t think I usually like how she dresses.
3. Jenna Ushukowitz: I don’t usually like ruffles, but she made them work.
4. Amy Adams: I’m so bored by this look that I couldn’t think of anything to write.
5. Mandy Moore: From the hips up? Pretty. Below? Dumb.
6. Tina Fey: Once. Just once, I would like to see Tina Fey on a red carpet and think “Wow!” Instead, I hate her dress. Every. Time. And I would pay this woman at least $20 to throw on a little more makeup. So boring!

Some of the celebrities really mixed it up. Check out these ladies in their patterned gowns:

Clockwise: Gabourey Sidibe, Helena Bonham Carter, Heidi Klum (with Seal), Michelle Williams

I think this might be a controversial decision, but I liked Gabourey Sidibe‘s gown. I think it’s pretty and it reminds me of a kimono. I also thought Michelle Williams looked kind of cute. I didn’t love the beige, but I thought the flowers were different and I liked them. Heidi Klum‘s dress almost worked, but the waistband has me a little confused. And I’m not even going to bother judging Helena Bonham Carter‘s look. OK, I will. It was ridiculous. But so was she, and I thought it was totally cool that she came to the Golden Globes dressed as Bellatrix Lestrange.

Two women showed up in colors I didn’t see on anyone else:

Kyra Sedgwick (with Kevin Bacon), Emma Stone

How fun did they look? I loved Kyra Sedgick‘s gown. What is that? Golden mustard? Orange? Whatever it is, I like it. It took me a while to decide what I thought about Emma Stone‘s gown. On the one hand, I thought she looked too monochromatic – her dress, skin and hair were all too similar. She looks better as a redhead, but it’s not her fault – I think the blonde hair is for Spiderman. The dress was sleek, modern, trendy and risky though, and I give her a lot of credit for that.

Because I don’t count “nude”, “blush” or “black” as actual colors, I’m going ahead and saying that the It Color of the night was emerald green. And what a good color it is. Almost all the ladies who wore it looked amazing:

Clockwise: Angelina Jolie (and Brad Pitt), Mila Kunis, Elisabeth Moss, Catherine Zeta Jones (and Michael Douglas)

Yeah, I said almost. Sorry Elisabeth Moss, but that dress was just weird. And you should have combed your hair. And some jewelry would have been nice. Look at Mila Kunis, she got it right. The color suited her perfectly, the gown fit like a glove and her hair, makeup and jewelry tied the look together perfectly. She looked stunning. Catherine Zeta Jones looked elegant, timeless, and absolutely gorgeous. And even though I’m growing tired of Angelina Jolie‘s conservative looks, I can make an exception for a sparkling emerald gown that really brought out her beautiful eyes.

Before I wrap up, let’s take a minute to congratulate some men. Most of them looked great. Robert Downey Jr., Chris Colfer and Jesse Tyler Ferguson all looked very dapper. But here are my favorites:

Clockwise: Kevin McHale, Harry Shum Jr., John Hamm, Jim Parsons

I’ll sum them each up in a word.  
Harry Shum Jr.: Fun
Kevin McHale: More fun (that’s two words, “funner” isn’t a word)
Jim Parsons: Dapper
John Hamm: Swoooooon

So who were your favorites? Who made you cringe? Which trends did you love or hate?

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