What Would Coco Do? Roll over in her grave. That’s what

L-A: Okay Karl.


Enough’s enough.We need to talk.

Sure, your ridiculosity amuses me. The fingerless gloves. The constant sunglasses. The bows. The jewels. You’re ridiculously awesome. You are the Don Cherry of Fashion. And I actually mean that in a good way. I was even amused by your teddy bear.

I’ll admit, I put up with the larger than life Persona with a capital P, because I usually love what you’re doing over there at Chanel. You bring the pretty. But dude. Sporting goods? Really?

I’ll give you the tennis. Tennis can be a stylish sport. The country club set would probably maim to get their hands on this. Miffy von Mifflesworth III can’t wait to use that racket to lob a ball at Tippy Smith-Plunkett’s head next time she’s on the court. She’ll be thinking “take that bitch” and doing it in style.

I’ll even give you the bike. Bikes as a luxury goods? Sure. Why not.

I want to ride around Paris with baguettes on that. I want to ride about the Hamptons on it and show Tippy Smith-Plunkett who’s boss.

But a zodiac style boat?

Is outboarding really the haute sport these days? I know the lifestyles of the rich and famous can include deep sea diving off the coast of somewhere fabulous, but I’m pretty sure the non-Chanel boats are already a luxury item.

And what I am guessing is a rugby ball? (sports are not so much my thing. It could be a football).

Karl? Dear? Have you ever seen a game of rugby?


My cousin used to tape his ears down for rugby so that, you know, they wouldn’t get torn off. And I once knew of a girl who broke both her arms. Possibly during practice. Rugby is not the place for Chanel anything.  (Also, from what I recall of the rugby girls back in my undergrad days, they were not so much the Chanel sort of girls).

And this? What is this?

Is that fishing?  Because if it involves hip-waders and fish that hasn’t been lightly grilled or served with wasabi, then it should not involve Chanel.

If Coco Chanel isn’t rolling in her grave, then I’ll just take on some extra righteous indignation at this crap.  Stick to pretty clothes and expensive accessories, like purses and sunglasses. Do not bring me this crap and call yourself haute couture.

p.s. all the Chanel images found at the Chanel site.


In Memorium – Robert B. Parker