This post is one of acknowledgement – food has been out of control lately. Random stuffing of face for no real reason. Eating until my belly feels like it’s going to burst. Gah, you’d think that I haven’t learned anything these past 3 years.
Marie wrote something yesterday that got me thinking.
“All I really want back is that feeling. Sure, the numbers on the scale are great, but the feelings I associate with being back at my goal weight are what I TRULY miss.”
I miss feeling good about myself.
Running makes me feel strong but it isn’t the complete package. I realize that I’m going to struggle for the rest of my life. I’ll never be that person that can leave food on their plate or chose carrots over chocolate. Come, lets be real. If I was that person then I would’ve never gotten to almost 300lbs in the first place.
Over the past year I have gradually gained some weight. My clothes don’t fit the way they used to. Thankfully no so much that I’ve had to buy new ones. Although, I’ve been avoiding shopping for that particular reason.
I thought that I could wait until the half training was over and get back to focusing on weight loss. (With exercise as a component obviously.)
Mentally I can’t wait any longer.
Luckily for me I have a terrific support system. Our blogging community has grown quite a lot over the past year. I’ve gotten numerous emails & comments from people telling me that I’ve inspired them. Well, guess what? You’ve inspired me. I look at people who recently started to make healthy changes – their energy and enthusiasm just radiates from the screen. I used to be that girl – excited for change and doing whatever it took to make it happen.
So bloggies, I’m asking for YOUR help. I need tough love. I will be asking my family and friends for the same.
I would like am going to lose 20 lbs; that will get rid of what I’ve gained and a bit more. In order to do this I need to be 100% accountable for my actions. This means sharing my struggles and victories, tracking what I eat, taking the time to make the best decision for me and officially posting my weekly weigh ins.
I’ve done this before I can certainly do it again. Are you with me? Will you kick my arse if need be?
