Usually I write the blog as I am experiencing the show. But I want you all to know, I am in such a white hot rage after tonight’s episode that I don’t know if I can do this. Can I still be witty when I am so angry? I feel like giving up on this show. But no, I promised Jill I would do it, and if she is suffering through Bachelor Pad, I can do this!
What is Adam Lambert doing hosting the show?
Oh wait, no, it’s just Julie Chen. (OK, back into the swing of things.)
Before the live portion of the show I noticed that Shelly is quite the little detective. Here are two big cases she solved:
CSI: BB Case #1 – The Man Who Knew (and thought) too little
Stay with me guys, Lawon still thinks he will be receiving special powers when evicted. After Lawon is put up on the block, he starts to act angry as if he was blindsided. He is terrible at this. Remember earlier this season I predicted this guy would be an awful liar? According to Shelly, Lawon has two clear giveaways that he is lying – first he brought up the idea of volunteering without anyone accusing him, and second he changes his vocabulary and uses a lot of swear words. Finally, Shelly just asks Kalia, “Did Lawon volunteer himself?” Kalia confirms.
CSI: BB Case #2 – The girl who cries a river runs dry
Rachel, Kalia and Danielle solidify their truce and will try and keep Rachel but, the deal is she can’t tell anyone that this is happening. If she does the deal is off. Rachel leaves the HOH room and tells both Jordan and Shelly a long drawn out lie that her Kalia and Danielle got into a heated argument and that there is no hope in her staying. As she first tells this made up story I think, yeah, I guess that doesn’t sound too much like a stretch, then she kept talking and talking. The rule of lying is making it brief. Shelly, again smells a liar. Put the logic together.
Rachel (not winning) + argument = tears = smeared mascara
So no smeared mascara means no tears which means there was no argument.
Shelly investigates again approaching Danielle saying she senses Rachel made a deal with Danielle. Danielle interprets this as Rachel told everyone they do have a deal.
Case solved (A song by The Who begins to play)
Come on guys, come to your senses
Danielle reports to Kalia that Rachel is making it obvious about their deal to the rest of the housemates. The two begin to discuss how stupid this deal is and maybe Rachel should be the target again. Come on guys, you’re almost there just keep using common sense. Rachel needs to go.
Today’s Julie time can be wrapped up into one sentence:
“Why are all y’all bitches crying all the time?”
Ragen is back… and on the Dark Side
Last year Ragen was my favorite housemate. He was smart and stood up to Rachel when she was acting like a bully. The montages of insults were awesome; he cuts deep. Geez, did a side order fries come with that helping of “Aah, snap?” I was so excited to hear him lay into Rachel again when, WTF? They are friends now? And he will also be in her wedding party? Apparently they have a lot in common. I am would rather think she has his family hostage or something.
The segment is Ragen telling the audience some not so insightful things about Rachel like she is very determined and can’t live without Brendon. He does mention how she begins Cry-bernating when things aren’t going her way. What an amazing pun, I am so mad I didn’t think of that.
The housemates all vote to evict Lawon. Danielle does say during her vote that she may regret this, and you should Danielle, you should. When it is announced that Lawon is evicted I can not tell if he is surprised or not. But….
He’s the Twist
Before Lawon gets to the door Julie asks the housemates to the living room to reveal the new twist. Julie explains that Lawon has a chance to stay in the house but also a previously evicted housemate has a chance to return as well. Lawon and America’s choice will face off in one challenge, who ever wins gets back into the house. Did you see the look on Rachel’s face? The studio audience was laughing so hard.
Next, Julie speaks with the four previously evicted houseguests and informs them that it was Rachel and Lawon nominated and it is Lawon who was evicted. Yes, sweet, sweet useless Lawon is the only thing in the way of them getting back in the house. What a cake walk.
Now Julie reveals American’s choice. I am thinking, Cassi hands down but then she’s not in the running. Then its between Dominic and Brendon. I am thinking its Dominic, and the producers only had the two of them standing together just to build the tension then….
WHAT IN THE NAME OF ALL THE SWEET MERCIFUL CRAP AND THINGS THAT SHINE UPON THE MOUNTAINS?
Brendon is America’s choice!?
This has to be a joke. This has to be one of those ‘Vote for the Worst’ things. Listen America, I know you are having some economic troubles right now but this is no time to make silly decisions.
Maybe Brendon isn’t coming back. Maybe the competition involves who can not do something the longest. Then Lawon would win.. maybe?
Some stupid competition
I am still in a state of shock and don’t ever care to review this competition. So Brendon and Lawon play some stupid skee ball game. Within 30 seconds Brendon is flying ahead, wins, and Rachel runs into his arms.
Worst Decision In Big Brother History EVER!
So after Brachel is reunited let’s all take a moment to realize we just witnessed the worst, and I mean worst decision in the history of the show. We all will remember where we were. So sad Lawon doesn’t even get a proper goodbye interview or goodbye messages.
Bye Lawon, the man that said, “Please evict me, I will be back.”
In the number two position, Kalia’s decision to align with Rachel. Dumb Dumb Dumb.
Thank you for getting through this with me. I hope this post wasn’t dripping with my anger too much.
So who will win Head of Household? How long until Brachel fight? And does Lawon finally understand he is not receiving any special powers?
- After watching 15 minutes of Late Night with Jimmy Fallon I calmed myself down.
- I am so happy to live in Canada. Nope not because of delicious syrup, because Big Brother wasn’t interrupted by football
- Did you see that Lawon exfoliating routine? It was intense.
- Remember that alliance The Regulators from the beginning of the season? Since Brendon is back all four members are the only evicted housemates. FAIL!
- Matt from last season was there as well. Remember when Matt kept telling Ragen that he had a dying a wife? I am impressed they got past that and are still friends.
- How epic would it have been if Rachel and Brendon had to face off?