The rage has subsided so I have more of a clear head to write this review.

 

Two weeks later, nothing has changed

The first few minutes is a long montage of diary room entries that all translated into ‘WTF?’ Rachel is happy, Kalia has a mini breakdown and Jordan is just content that she no longer has to be an emotional crutch for Rachel. That sounded like a full-time job.

 

Brendon’s return is so surreal, like the last two weeks were just a dream on the show. Yes, Lawon is gone but who was really going to miss him? Sorry Lawon.

 

Ring-around-the-rosey: The dance that reveals all

Since Rachel is so excited that Brendon is back she invites Jordan and Jeff to the purple room to do a happy dance. Then in front of the rest of the house Rachel also invites Shelly and Adam. The two of them immediately abide to this request. Thus they begin to hold hands in a circle and jump up and down for a long period time. It was a border line tribal, as if someone was going to be sacrificed.

 

From now on if I ever make a promise or a deal with someone, instead of a handshake or the reliable ‘pinky swear’ I will ask, “Ok, now hold my hands and jump with me for the appropriate amount of time!”

 

So there you have it. The house is divided into two teams, the Veteran Couples with Shelly and Adam vs Danielle, Kalia, and Porsche. The line is drawn. Shelly and Adam can’t talk themselves out of this.

 

Is anyone going to eat that pizza? – HOH Competition

The housemates come outside to see the backyard is turned into some sort of museum of America. Every state or hometown that the housemates are from is represented in an over-the-top fashion.

 

The name of the game is estimation, or guestimation, I feel guestimation is not a word. These competitions are challenging and do require some skills. Whoever is the furthest away from the correct answer is out of the competition. So the Price is Right rule of “without going over” doesn’t count.

 

Here’s how it plays out:

 

Round #1: Louisiana- How many bead necklaces hanging on a tree?

Rachel is out. Phew!

 

Round #2: Chicago- How many pepperonis are on these two large pizzas?

Jordan is out. Were those real pizzas? Were the housemates allowed to eat it? Someone needs to do something about this because it was a huge waste of delicious pizza. Oh, the humanity! Please contact your local politician and make sure pizza like this is never wasted again.

 

Round #3: Miami – How many olives in a large martini glass?

Brendon is out. No way, the Veterans are all failing at this competition. Hey, Brendon didn’t your fancy schooling teach you estimation practices? Burn.

 

Round #4: Las Vegas – How many playing cards on the table?

Jeff out. Again, you Veterans are losing your cool.

 

Round #5: Hoboken, New Jersey – How many baseballs in these giant baseball gloves?

Shelly fails this time. Seems this, dancing circle alliance can’t keep it together. All they have left now is Adam.

 

Round #6: St. Louis??? – How many rivets on this moving propeller?

And just like that the dancing circle alliance will have to do the ‘reality check shuffle’ because Adam is out. Now it’s between Porsche and Danielle.

 

Round #7: California– How many gold coins in the treasure chest?

Danielle is the winner, and girlfriend throws her chalk board onto the grass.

 

And that’s what you get for dancing – oh spoke too soon – Porsche, Kalia and Danielle began to dance as well.

 

“I am my own mentor” – Jordan’s interview skills

Jeff is encouraging Jordan to start looking for new jobs. I thought she was a professional country bumpkin but she really is a receptionist.

 

Shelly offers to give Jordan a faux job interview he’s a rough transcript:

“Are you a glass half empty or half full person?”

“Wait, I am not sure what tha….”

“Are you more decisive or pensive?”

“Wait, I am not sure what tha….”

“What are your weaknesses?”

“Well I am terrible at science.”

“Who are your mentors?”

“I am my own mentor”

 

If Jordan is currently working somewhere that let’s her take time to appear on multiple reality shows, then she should just stick to it. This is also a reminder that just because you win a game show doesn’t mean you are now set for life.

 

Baby, that alliance doesn’t mean anything to me, you know I am yours

Turns out Shelly is also addicted to making alliances. I didn’t realize how many until the show keeps bringing it up.

 

First when Rachel and Brendon talk alone, Rachel says she overheard Shelly has a final three pact with Jordan and Jeff. Now Brachel does not trust Shelly.

 

Next Kalia and Danielle thought Shelly was on their side, then well, the whole dancing with the enemy opened their eyes. When Shelly talks with the two girls in the HOH room she acts like that wasn’t a big deal. Shelly asks to speak with Danielle alone. She then compliments Danielle and says she wants to stick with her. Let’s cut to that dance again.

 

Next, after Shelly overhears Porsche talking about her she doesn’t understand why people are treating her differently. She says, and I quote, “All I have done was look out for you.” See Shelly, that’s your problem, you have been looking out for everyone. Then Porsche reveals she knows Shelly, Rachel and Brendon have a final three pact. This statement is actually backed-up with video evidence from the BB editors. Shelly claims that is not true and is furious Rachel has lies.

 

Shelly is acting pretty pathetic right now. She feels she is playing the game with moral integrity and is being punished. Yes, you are playing with morals but you are making too many deals with people. You’re an alliance slut. That’s right I said it.

 

Nominations

Before nominations, Rachel and Brendon talk with Danielle and offer a truce. The truce could last a couple of weeks or could last until the end of the show. She is really leaning towards this option.

 

The show edits the nominations ceremony to show Danielle is having a hard time making a decision. As the housemates begin to sit down at the table Shelly tells Jordan she is upset Rachel is telling lies. Yes, I am sensing a fight between these two in the future. It will be good.

 

Finally it is revealed that Shelly and Adam are up on the block. I think this is a good idea to target the floaters. Yes, I would love Rachel to leave but the plus side is that she is less likely to shed tears this week especially with Brendon back. I just don’t like when people end up in the top three without winning a single competition.

 

So who will win veto? Will Shelly realize she has made too many deals? And when was the last time you jumped for joy? Maybe you should try again.

 

Other Thoughts: