So, for the first few minutes of the show we had some recap revelations. First, the Newbies are terrible at this game and the Veterans are taking over. Next, Shelly still feels guilty about things. Cassi’s leaving was because Rachel is a major hater. And there are only three couples to choose from for nominations and Kalia and Lawon haven’t done a thing this whole game.
Who wants to see my cesspool? Rachel’s Second HOH
While Rachel was getting her key the housemates hid and then threw pillows at her after she asked “Who wants to see my HOH room?” I was disappointed that the pillows weren’t filled with doorknobs.
Next we get the montage of Newbies trying to befriend Brachel again. Adam’s attempt is kind of half-assed. Dominic wants to remind them that Kalia and Lawon haven’t really done anything. Then it was Lawon’s turn. Rachel asks him, after the partners are gone how do you intend to play the game? This began a monologue of nonsensical thoughts, “I am playing to get as far as I can go.” “I’m ready to play, guess what? Whoever, it doesn’t matter.” At one point I thought he was going to say, ‘I am in it to win it.’
Don’t Hassle My Expectations because now I’m pissed “Hoff”– Big Brother’s Lamest Competition Ever
This week Big Brother gave the housemates a week off from the Have/ Have Not competition and offered a luxury competition. The note from Big Brother said they will be meeting someone famous. The housemates got all excited but were shocked when a bald, stout man came out. He announces that he has a famous name and he will be featured on CBS’ new show Same Name with his famous counterpart. Wait, so this competition is a crappy commercial?
The housemates were given clues about who the famous person was and whoever made the right guess first wins. The clues were soap and opera glasses, a microphone, and a Knight in armor. Here were some guesses: Brendon thought Michal C Hall, Lawon thought Barbara and Adam thought Ricky Martin which I thought was the best guess.
So the housemates come to the courtyard to see the mystery celebrity. And there was David Hasslehoff in the Knight Rider car wearing his “Don’t ‘Hassle’ the ‘Hoff’ shirt.” BARF!
No offense to the Hoff but I would be so disappointed. The luxury prize was a private party where you get to watch CBS’ soon to be cancelled Same Name. You know what rhymes with ‘same’ and ‘name’? It’s LAME LAME! This luxury prize was lame. I would rather sleep in the asylum room than this prize.
Jordon won! Her logic for guessing David Hasslehoff was weird but it worked. Jordan for some reason saw the soap and opera glasses she thought ‘bay’ with the soap and ‘watch’ with the glasses which lead her to think Baywatch which lead her to David Hasslehoff. What?
As the winner she got to pick three other people to awkwardly eat sushi with David Hasslehoff. Jordan chose Jeff, Shelly and Kalia. This party was very awkward to watch, I was glad to see the David Hasslehoff didn’t stay the whole time but he did give Jordan a kiss that lingered a little too much.
Back to the Rachel and Brendon show featuring the BB Housemate-ettes
Here’s a math equation:
Rachel + Competition – Winning = Tears
Rachel was upset about three things – she didn’t win the competition, didn’t get chosen by Jordan, and Brendon was upset she was telling Porsche answers. She didn’t have a bush to cry in and couldn’t run to the HOH room so they used that large couch room.
The argument covers a few things, that the house and this competition are not healthy for their relationship. Rachel says, “We are a self destructive couple,” and my inner couple’s therapist said, ‘Ah, yes a breakthrough, give me $300 and see me next week.” Then Rachel started squealing about her ‘dream wedding’ and how Brendon doesn’t want one. Then my inner Dr. Phil said, “Sounds like you two are planning for a wedding but not for a marriage.” This conversation between them gets real and it looks like they are going to fall apart, on national television. And I can’t turn away.
I am sensing that even the Big Brother production team doesn’t like Brachel because they kept playing sad music during the argument that seemed really sarcastic.
Dominic comes into the room and reminds the two of them to stay. Next Dominic tries to create the new ultimate alliance, Brachel, him and Danielle. I could see that working but if Dominic agrees he will be signing his soul to the devil. Just like in the Little Mermaid. Dominic knew Rachel was mad at Jordan and he swooped in at the right time. Just like a guy at 3am approaching a mascara smeared girl and asking, “Hey, you have a fight with your boyfriend? He’s a loser for leaving you alone. Come to my place we’ll talk this out.” (WINK!)
So after all the talk of turning on Jeff and Jordan, Jeff returns from the “awesome” party to say hello. He asks if they were upset about not being invited.
“Oh, no, that would be silly.” – Rachel.
You’re a real piece of work you know that? That’s all I can say. My rage will be going towards my art therapy.
So Brachel only has three choices to make – will they stick with their alliance, stick with their new semi-alliance (Dom and Danielle) or put up the floaters?
It’s Adam and Dominic on the block. The Veterans Alliance is safe for now, but for how long?
So who will win the Veto? Will Brachel backdoor Jeff and Jordan? And did anyone watch Same Name?
- I love how the Heavy Metal guy takes the time to de-lint his graphic t-shirt
- Again, the luxury prize was so lame. One season the housemates got a chance to see a sneak peek of Ricky Bobbi, that was a cool prize.
- I should wear a shirt that says, “All is” always “On”. Patent pending.
- If everyone is “Haves” this week, what happened to Rachel’s two week slop from the last POV?
- Lawon? Did you really go to Yale? Tell the truth?