Wednesday night had the judges searching for talent in Orlando. But apparently all the talent must be employed at Disneyworld, because the acts we saw were brutal. One of the most hilarious auditions came early on in the episode – a guy who danced with his eyebrows. That’s right. Danced. With. His. Eyebrows. It was weird, folks. Personally, I also loved the guys who danced to the Backstreet Boys whilst wearing full bodysuits in the colors of the Power Rangers. How could the judges X them? They were great! You know, in a completely untalented and ridiculous sort of way.
The first decent audition came from a guy who used to perform on cruise ships. He juggled knives, fire and a chainsaw. It was good, but it reminded me of a lot of acts I see every summer during Halifax’s annual Busker Festival. He was entertaining enough to continue, but Orlando still hadn’t delivered any contenders for the winner.
I liked the Indian dancing group, and look forward to seeing more from them. The little kid who sang Stevie Wonder was good too, although the green leggings under his shorts confused me. The girl who did a back bridge while Nick Cannon stood on her stomach pretty much blew my mind. If I can even hold one of those for 3 seconds during yoga, I’m over the moon! I also dug the older woman in the sparkly dress who belted out “Old Time Rock and Roll”. Love the song, love sparkles. Although again, she was merely enjoyable rather than winner material.
OK, the cutie named Nathaniel who said he works at an elderly folks’ home? Freakin. Adorable. I really, really wish he’d been better at singing because I wanted to love him. Instead, he was just OK. Luckily, his personality made up for what he lacked in vocal ability. I was happy he made it to Vegas. I think he could be better with practice and less nerves.
Here’s the thing about busker-style acts. They’re only good if the performers are skilled. So knowing that the weird little pierced goth-leprechaun guy had recently spent four days in the hospital after swallowing a sword wrong did not make me want to watch his act. I do not want to see someone slice open their insides while eating chips. Or not while eating chips. I pretty much never want to see blood. The engaged daredevil couple made it to Vegas, but I’m not a fan.
The final act of the night was also my favorite of the night – a dance group called Reckless. I loved their song choice (Telephone, by Gaga – but a really awesome remix), their costumes and their moves. The performance reminded me why America’s Best Dance Crew is my favorite dance show. Orlando was pretty much a bust, but Reckless made it worth it.
