Today I want to set this camping trailer on fire.

We’ve had a long stretch of rainy, windy weather (remember this post from last week). That, combined with a traveling husband has made for a stressful week.

There wasn’t even enough wine to keep me there today so we headed out of dodge and are staying at home for a few days. Enough time to clean our feet and clear our heads. Stretch out and enjoy our home (which, by the way, looks like a castle compared to our 32ft trailer).

I don’t know how you “tenters” do it. Although, I doubt anyone is crazy enough to spend a full month camping in a tent. You’d have to be out of your tree to do that, I think. Especially in this kind of weather:

You see, we’ve only spent one night at home in the last month, one night. Wow. Even I’m shocked that I didn’t break sooner.

But here I am… at 1 am on our second night home and I’m unable to sleep. What’s with that? Big comfy bed, clean sheets, clean house… and no shut eye.

I blame it on my advanced age and my inability to consume caffeine anymore past 5 pm. Just one cup of tea, I said at 7. It won’t keep me up, I said. HA!

Anyway, back to the campground. You know, when you live in such close proximity to other people in trailers, you really have to watch what you say. I’ve noticed myself saying some unusual things to the kids (and the dog) lately.

“If you two are going to kill each other, do it OUTSIDE of this trailer because I’m not cleaning up the mess!”

“Go out and play. The rain won’t melt you!”

“The grass is wet, go play on the street!”

“If you two keep up this fighting, I’m packing up this trailer and heading home.”

“If I let this dog loose, do you think she’d run away or be like the cat that kept coming back?”

“Go pound sand… on the beach. But if I catch you near that water… watch out!”

“Please STOP singing The Cup Song.”

“Please STOP singing One Direction songs.”

“If you let this dog out of this trailer, you can chase her as she gallops around the campground.”

“Who let the dog out!”

“The dog CANNOT sit at the table!”

So there you have it. A glimpse into the “amazing summer I’m giving my kids!” I’m introducing them to the crazy things that mothers say.

Oh, and guess what? We’re heading back out to the campground tomorrow. We miss the chaos that is our life out there! And I left my wine in the trailer!!