Don’t tap this look

L-A: So, the cat who is usually a jerk is parked on my lap for the evening and I’m feeling a bit sloth like myself, which lead to me reading Go Fug Yourself and Undeath Match instead of trying to think of what to write.  Lucky for you I came across some kind of cross-promotional Celebuzz ad on Go Fug Yourself and it lead to my idea for tonight (otherwise I’d be writing about my cat and neither of us wants that). And that idea is: Looks the Dudes Should Not Tap.

Let’s start with Shia LaBeouf, a celebrity whose fame I do not get (can he actually act? I haven’t been able to sit through a Transformers movie to figure it out):


The headline is actually a shortened version of “Shia LaBeouf & Girlfriend Look Like Lesbian Hobos In Love“. Which, I don’t get. The lesbian part of the headline is confusing and just plain old insulting for the sake of being insulting. Carey Mulligan, adorable girlfriend of Shia and who can totally act, looks, well, adorable. If you are slightly waifish with a cute pixie haircut: totally tap her look. Shia however, is not so much hobo as he is the scary dude who wants to wash your window with dirty water so that you’ll give him spare change and oh please god let the light change before he makes it to my car.  Okay, so maybe that is the hobo of our day. But I prefer to think of my hobos as this:

What?? I can’t be the only one who thinks of German Shepards when they hear about hobos! Okay, so maybe I also think hobos are more along the lines of this dude, but whatevs.

Shia’s jeans are the colour of dirty water and that sweatshirt is the sort of thing your mom threatened to burn if she saw you wearing it one more time.  To make a long story short: Please never wear any part of that outfit. Ever.

Off in the corner of that website was a photo of Miley and Brother Cyrus that I just had to click on:


Why did I have to click on it? Well, there are two things about this photo: Firstly, and not fashion related, I have to ask the question: am I the only one who finds it weird when celeb siblings cuddle? Or make out a la Angelina Jolie? (I don’t care how many African villages she buys or kids she adopts: she is still weird in my books). I’m not saying anything untoward is happening here, I’m just saying I find it odd. Probably because I never cuddle with my brother. I like him a lot, he’s a good guy, but we don’t cuddle.

More importantly, what is up with Brother Cyrus and looking like a Soul Asylum fan from 1992? Not kidding. Check it out:


Right. So while it’s nice to be nostalgic for the halcyon days of the grunge period and to remember how deep you thought the video to Runaway Train was when you were 13 or 14 because you didn’t know any better, it is not okay to tap that look. But you already knew that, didn’t you?

Bring it on Plakas!

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