I am having one of those day where I am just moody and cranky. My stomach is still upset too.
Finished up work early because the power went out. When I got home, I couldn’t decide what to do – no internet, no tv, all I could really do was think. Think about the weight I’ve gained, think about how I’m obsessed with food, think about how I want to lose weight, think about where I was only a year ago. Looked longingly into the closet at the clothes that no longer fit me. Basically pick myself apart.
Then I headed for the chocolate.
And felt immediately guilty afterwards.
I knew that eating wasn’t the answer, but I did it anyways. Then I tracked all my points and felt worse because I was in the red. And Weight Watchers Online shows it in red. Eff Me.
But I went out and did some errands, picked up supper (I was solo tonight as hubby had a work function) and spent the better part of 45 minutes convincing myself to just go to the gym. Go to the gym Lynn, you’ll feel better. You know it.
So I did.
I sweat my ass off for an hour and thought about how sometimes I feel like a prisoner in my own body. Trapped and going in circles. I’m just so frustrated. Some weeks I can eat well, track and listen to my body and then the next week just the opposite.
Over the hour, my mood slowly changed. I started to feel good about myself, mentally made some meals plans and gym trips. Told myself that once I get into a routine, everything will come together. And it will.
I left feeling great.
I know that by getting this all out it does help. So I share my struggles with you, knowing that there are others like me. We can do this, we’ve just got to let the positive outweigh the negative and eventually we’ll get there.
Now on to the lighter stuff… this morning I whipped up a batch of blueberry muffins for breakfast. They were delish!
Fresh out of the oven, no need for butter. Isn’t hubby a lucky man?
PS. Amy is back to blogging, go say hello!!!