The Bachelorette – Madeira’s Bachelor Reunion

Des - bacheloretteThis week on The Bachelorette, Des and her five guys headed to the beautiful island of Madeira, off the coast of Spain. This show might be asinine, but it can make for some pretty good travel porn.

I’m jealous!

Des invited a few friends from her past season of The Bachelor to meet up with her and chat about the remaining guys and the drama that has already unfolded. I think it says a lot for Des that the girls she picked were easily the most likable from last season – Catherine, Lindsey and Jackie.

When Des was chatting with her friends, it sounded like Brooks stood out as one of her favorites. So he’ll probably lose, right?

Date #1 – Brooks

the bachelorette

Why is she in heels???

The first solo date went to Brooks. They spent a lot of time trying to decide if they just like, or love one another. Uggghhhh, one of my pet peeves on this show is when couples only talk about their relationship, and the progress of their romance. I know it’s mostly the editing, and they must have normal conversations as well. But I hate it. Can you imagine being like that in real life?

Over dinner, Des and Brooks talked more about their families and the potential family visit next week. Brooks also confessed to the camera that he’s “a little bit behind” Des in the “emotional process”. That’s because this show is RIDICULOUS, but I like that Brooks can be honest about that with himself. The running analogy was good for this show, since people race through relationships towards a very clear finish line. It’s manufactured and unsustainable, and if Brooks feels like he’s moving slower than everyone else that’s probably because he’s smarter.

Date #2 – Chris

Chris seems to be the guy that Des has the strongest physical attraction to, but I don’t get it. I think he looks like an accountant. (That’s a joke. I’m marrying an economist in a few months. Hi, nerds!)

Chris and Des wrote a poem together, and then put it in a bottle to toss into the ocean. I don’t know which form of pollution makes me angrier – throwing glass into the ocean, OR TOSSING IN ALL THAT CHEESE! (Get it? Because the poem was cheesy? Yeah, I’m clever.)

Over dinner, Des said that she would love for Chris to meet his family and he fidgeted and sweated over whether to blurt out the big “I love you”. Instead, he did it with ANOTHER poem. I officially hate this guy.

Date #3 – Michael

This was Michael’s first solo date – I guess before this he’d only been on group dates, and that hideous two-on-one that was more like putting Ben on trial. I don’t know if Des and Michael have spent enough time together compared to the other guys.

Over dinner, Michael told Des more about his family background and he seems like a nice guy. At least he didn’t write a poem, right?

Date #4 – Drew vs. Zak

Another two-on-one date, but this time featuring two of the dullest characters left on the show. I as sure that Zak didn’t stand a chance. I don’t know anything about him! Is he the guy who almost became a priest? Zak drew a bunch of pictures of his “journey” with Des, which unfortunately reminded me that he was the shirtless idiot at the beginning of the season. It served him well that I’d forgotten. At least drawings are better than a dinky poem, and both Des and Zak are creative people.

Des gave the rose on the date to Drew, because she was sure she wanted to meet his family. Drew is fine, but kind of vanilla. He doesn’t seem exciting or particularly fun. Zak wasn’t getting sent home, he just has to duke it out with the other dudes for the other three roses.

Rose Ceremony

Before the rose ceremony, Des essentially told Chris Harrison that she’s in love with Brooks. Uh-oh! He’s still only jogging! I smell trouble.

I was surprised – Zak made it through, and instead Des sent Michael home. Was it the two-on-one date with Ben that was his downfall?

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