AllyG: You know what I feel like tonight? A cocktail. Vodka martini, shaken, not stirred…five massive olives. For reals.

Alas, one of these is just not in the cards for what feels like 10,000 years from now. You know what else I miss? Cocktail hour attire. Like, old school cocktail hour attire. The way it should be done. When you actually put on a hot dress, did your hair, “painted your face” etc. Not like the other cocktail hours where you sit in your sweatpants on a Saturday afternoon gunning down a Moose Light (speaking of which, have you tried Moose Light Lime? Can you? For me? It looks delicious).

I want to frolic shirtless in the rain. Sorry, right. Cocktail wear.

I was checking out Dior’s fall 2009 collection, and it certainly appears that this would be the ideal cocktail attire.

Granted, she has forgotten her bottoms, but who among us has not faced the same dilemma when arriving for cocktails. Some of us more than once. Right, Mom? Ha! KIDDING.

I really like the sharp structure of the jacket, particularly on that length of a jacket. The detail in the sleeves is incredible, matched with the purple gloves, she’s set for a cosmo!

Dior is so classic. I love the fit of this dress, matched with what can only be described as “lingerie inspired” shoes, it works for my fantasy cocktail party. See? People are already having fun at the party! This lady appears to have taken the previous ladies skirt and wrapped it around her head! Ha! Ha! Now there’s a jokester!

L-A? You should probably chime in now. I’m clearly going nowhere fast here. This is what happens when Ally is stressed. I have pretend cocktail parties with my pretend pantless friends. Hey! Let’s invite Lady Gaga!

L-A, you don’t need to say it. I’m ashamed of myself enough as it is.

L-A: You know how some people play fantasy football/baseball/whateverball? Well, I now officially declare that we play Fantasy Cocktail Party! And thus far, this party looks like it is one lamp shade on the head away from completely awesome.  Although, I fear that if you tell Gaga that the other ladies are going without bottoms, she will either a) show up without a top, or b) wear bottoms just to be different. That is totally the kind of girl Gaga is. She’s also the kind of girl to go gaga over these shoes from the Dior runway:

Anyway, despite the missing skirts, and the questionable lingerie inspired shoes (from afar: loves it. up close: questionable and a little too close to those bra strap headbands), I’m pretty much in love with this new season of Dior. Galliano is totally channeling Dior’s New Look. Seriously. Check it out:

Then (1947)

Now (Fall 2009 Couture)

Granted, I do not go for animal prints as a rule, but that second dress is killer. I’d almost wear an animal print to wear that dress. Almost.

And you know who needs to be at this cocktail party? The cast of Mad Men, in character of course. (which, btw, new season starts mid-August and I’m frigging excited. Loves that show. And dying to get Pete’s reaction to Peggy telling him about the baby):

Okay, so I’m pretty sure that’s from Season One. And the whole show is set in the 60s, so it doesn’t quite fit with the Dior New Look, but those cats knew how to do a cocktail hour. They knew cocktail hour meant dressing up and not looking like you stepped out of a beer ad. I seriously want the costume designer for that show to dress me.

And what’s a party without your cocktails? Well, I don’t even want to think about that. Which is why I was delighted to find these helpful Mad Men-inspired illustrations by the crazy talented Dyna Moe (thank you google image search!):

Yessir. Those are the Sally Draper Cocktail Cheat Sheets. I may need to buy these as prints for my kitchen. You know, in case I need the little ones* to mix me up a cocktail. (*note to children’s services: I do not actually have little ones, so don’t go breaking down my door to collect them them). Until I do get these prints, I can rely on my trusty Mr. Boston to tell me how to make my drinks (one of the best birthday pressies ever).

Sadly, those cocktail cheat sheets do not include enough recipes with mint in them. Which is totally why I started gardening: to make mojitos and other cocktails. I kid you not. I’m growing mint for the sole purpose of making drinks.  (I’m not an olive girl. I like my cocktails to have fun names and possibly fruit. I like to get a little girl drink drunk).

But careful girls. One too many of those puppies and your morning after could look like this:

Don’t worry too much if it does. We’ve all been there at least once (maybe ten times) before.