Ally: Remember how L-A was all anxious about what to wear to Coachella?

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I think L-A will be fine. Just fine. Lainey noted on her blog yesterday that, “Some go for the music. Some go for an excuse to dress like an asshole.” I’ll be the first to state that I would be a royal asshole at Coachella, but not to the degree as some of the people who have walked the great fields of…wherever Coachella is.

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This is try-hard at its best. It’s more try-hard than Vanessa High-School-Musical (who absolutely has a Celebrities I Irrationally Hate post coming soon). To be more try-hard than Vanessa is saying something:

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What. the. Fuck. I think this is why L-A didn’t invite me to Coachella. She claims it’s all, “oh, but you have a kid! I didn’t think you’d be interested!” Really it’s, “bitch, I can’t trust that your 33 year old ass won’t wear thigh-high fishnet stockings and a ruffled bandeau”. I think that’s a fair assessment.

So, as you can see, there’s a lot of shit happening at Coachella. There’s…some…good as well though. For example, L-A and I found our hybrid!

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Let’s add this up, shall we?

Nautical stripes (L-A)  on a Stella McCartney jersey dress(Ally) + Sidebraid (L-A and Ally) + booties (Ally) + Pacey Whitter (L-A) = COACHELLA HYBRID

It only took us three years to find this.

I also think that L-A would approve of this Emma Watson look (but I’ve been wrong before…):

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It’s funny, this is what I wear basically every day, except with a bra. I don’t hate this look (which is why it is listed under the “good” at Coachella since there is so much crap), but I question why a supermodel like Arizona Muse would try so hard to look shit?

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And thank heavens to Betsy that someone took a break from the bo-ho (yes, that did actually come from me) to mix it up a bit:

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You feeling better about this now, L-A?

 L-A: Much better. And while this is where I phone it in, I will tell you that I’ve purchased the following practical items for Coachella:

I actually had to phone a friend and have her talk me through my feelings on TOMS before giving in.

Although, aside from the crazypants fashions there, the real crazypants in my books is the folks who bust out their best and most expensive items. I saw a pic of someone toting Chanel and another with a PS1 bag. The PS1 may mean little to some, but look at it this way: it’s a bag that starts at $1200. You don’t bring that shit to sit in the dust for three days. You just don’t. If you’ve got enough money to buy one of those bags, then you’ve got enough to a much cheaper, yet still lovely bag that is good for a giant concert.

Anyway, I’m off tomorrow at the ungodly hour of pre-6am. Which means I leave my house even earlier. Which kind of makes me want to puke. Especially as I haven’t started packing yet. I promise to update y’all on my Coachella choices. And I’ll be instagramming that shit (my instagram username is lesleyhyphenanne). Hopefully Pacey will go for a second weekend and I can get my husband to take a pic of me and Pacey cuddling.